“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ”
– Galatians 1:10 (ESV)
“Am I Trying To Please Man?”
In the above verse, Paul speaks to one of the most pervasive hindrances to Christian freedom in the 21st century: people pleasing. In context, he is scolding the Galatian church for so quickly abandoning the story of Christ, saying it has “[turned] to a different gospel” than the one he originally preached among them (Gal 1:6). Paul continues to explain the dangers of deserting the absolute truth of God’s Word for a counterfeit: if anyone should preach “a gospel contrary to the one [he] preached”, that person should be “accursed”–literally cut off from God (v. 8). These are harsh words, yet Paul stands up for the unpopular, raw gospel; he doesn’t allow what others think of him to sway his complete submission to the truth of Christ’s incarnation, life, death, and resurrection. Anticipating the backlash from those he just admonished, he asks himself the question we all need to ask ourselves when faced with the temptation to bow to a human knee: “am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God?”
Do you seek the approval of others before the approval of God? When faced with this question, it would be a lie for any of us to say “no”. We’ve all done it at one point or another, but if we aren’t careful, seeking others’ approval can manifest itself as a monstrous idol in our lives (one that is not very forgiving or easy to root out). The anxiety caused by the fluctuations in what others think about you, the emptiness felt after a prolonged period without hearing praise from another person, the endless search for security in other insecure human beings–people pleasing quickly becomes a vicious cycle of never quite being good enough. It will rip you apart as you become lost in the varying opinions of others. It will exhaust you as you seek to please those whom only God can: other broken, sinful human beings just like yourself.
Take time to consider your motives today in your work, your ministry, and your relationships: do you do what you do to earn the favor of others, or do you do everything “to the glory of God,” seeking to please Him in joyful obedience? To help you answer this question, below are four underlying reasons why you may be “seeking the approval of man” before the approval of God.
1. The Desire for Recognition
Everyone loves to be praised and recognized for their accomplishments, and to some degree, this is a good desire, as hard work should be recognized. But the desire to be recognized by others for your service, work, gifts, abilities, (you name it), is a form of people pleasing that becomes sinful when 1) we feel like we deserve it, or 2) we rely on it for our joy and satisfaction. Ask yourself this question: “if no one were to praise, recognize, or congratulate my work, abilities, or service to God for the remainder of my lifetime, would I still do it?” Be honest with yourself. How much do you rely on the praise of others to motivate you? Do you feel empty after a prolonged time without receiving recognition for your work? What about in ministry or in church: do you serve because you “need” to feel needed, or do you serve with a humble spirit through faith, knowing that God–out of everyone–sees your work and is pleased?
I feel this temptation most when I am teaching the Bible in front of others. My natural impulse after a lesson is that if no one says anything to me or tells me I did a “good job”, then I must not have had much of an impact on the crowd. Yet the truth here is that my gauge for success is skewed by my desire for recognition: what I should be concerning myself with is not what others say to me, but rather if what I taught was accurate to the testimony of God’s Word.
Pleasing God and God alone should be our sole motive in everything we do for Him, be it in church, at work, or in the home. So ask yourself: “do I root my worth in the recognition of others?” If so, rip those roots out and seek the approval of God, who bought you with the blood of Christ and will recognize you one day with the words “well done, my good and faithful servant” (Mat. 25:21).
2. The Fear of Rejection
Another clear reason why we may people please is that we are afraid of being rejected by others if we do not cave into what they want from us. Whether it is a more general fear of saying “no”, or it is more specific in that we are afraid of letting down a certain individual (be it your spouse, boss, friend, or even your child), the prospect of being rejected is likely the main reason why we turn to pleasing people instead of God. In our scripture from earlier, this was the type of people pleasing which Paul had to battle: instead of watering down the true gospel to be accepted by the Galatian church, he risked being rejected to ensure they heard the truth. Paul, who labored for years over his churches and loved them dearly, could have easily caved in to the pressure of changing his message to become more popular with his listeners. Instead, he chose to please God by holding true to who God called him to be, no matter how unpopular or “close-minded” it seemed.
Are you afraid of being rejected by others so much that you will do whatever they say, no matter how much it encroaches on your time or values? Is the word “no” just a mere whisper in your mind when it should be a more frequent declaration from your lips? Do you feel an ongoing tension between doing what others say and being obedient to Christ’s commands? Do you neglect to tell your unbelieving friends about Jesus because you are terrified of what they will think of you if you do? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you fear being rejected by others more than you seek the approval of God. To this I remind you: remember who you are. You are never forsaken because God is always faithful. It does not matter in the slightest what others think of you–whether they like you or hate you–because, Christian, if you are under the blood of Christ, you are eternally accepted in the eyes of God. “If God is for [you], who can be against [you]?” (Rom. 8:31). If the Creator of the universe bestows favor on you through Christ, why should it matter what a mere human thinks?
3. The Search for Refuge
Third, perhaps another reason why you people please is that you never stop to find rest in Jesus. Whenever we neglect our time with our “Daily Bread” and “Living Water”, we quickly begin to replace it with things that exhaust quickly and gratify insufficiently. The approval of others creeps in to become our shallow hiding place. And in our culture, this is all too accessible. Instead of opening God’s Word and praying upon waking, we scan our fingerprint (or face) on some device and scroll through social media for hours a day. On sites and apps where you are valued by candid photos of life’s best moments or how many likes you received, the “quiet time” many of us consume is clearly not with God.
Where do you seek comfort? Is it in how many likes you receive on a post, the compliments you receive based on your appearance, the opinions of others? Whenever you feel insecure, do you run to a place where you are only valued for the part of life you choose to show, or do you run to the arms of the One who sees you for all of who you are and yet still loves you? There is a fountain that will never run dry, and that fountain is Jesus Christ. He says: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Mat. 11:28, emphasis mine). In other words, Jesus beckons you: “do not run to the approval of others which will not satisfy; run to me and me alone, and you will find refuge”. Seek Him today, Christian, for your soul needs Him. Take precious time every day with your Savior in prayer and in the Word. “Taste and see that the Lord is good” (Ps. 34:8). Find refuge in the “shadow” of His wings (Ps. 57:1). Ask Him to “satisfy” you in the morning with His steadfast love (Ps. 90:14). And when you are safe and secure in His arms, you will never need the petty praise of man to feel loved and valued.
4. The Failure to Regard
Lastly, and perhaps most dangerously, is the notion that you people please because you fail to acknowledge the weight and significance of God’s Word upon your life. This type of people pleasing is subliminal: you base your morals and opinions on what society values versus what God values. You bow at the altar of what “feels” right versus what God decrees is right. You accept sin without even believing it is sin because “the majority of people say it’s ok”. You twist God’s Word to make it fit your agenda. In some respects, this doesn’t even seem like people pleasing. But it is. In a disgusting and devious form, this is people pleasing because it affirms the wisdom of man while denying the wisdom of God. Born out of doubting God’s sovereign power and control over all things, you begin to believe that God’s inspired Word must be wrong on some issues, because “God knew in the 21st century that humanity would deal with this” or that “God’s love is bigger than what was written 2,000 years ago”.
Search your heart: if you find yourself saying statements like this frequently, or if what you believe is “right” does not coincide with what God says is right in His Word–repent. You are playing the most dangerous people pleasing game of all: creating God in the image of human likeness. God’s ways are “higher” than our own (Isa. 55:9). Who are we, then, as sinful humans, to say that God is wrong and we are right? What makes society right on an issue just because it is more accepted in today’s time? The logic fails. Only God is right, and we must analyze in what ways we need to ask God to conform our desires to His Word–and not His Word to our desires.
The Joy of Pleasing God
The truth is that we all battle stubborn hearts that fight against submitting to God’s will; all of us turn too quickly to the pale promise of people pleasing, (for whichever of the four reasons), instead of resting assured in the promise of God’s approval bestowed upon us through Christ. But the beauty of Christ is that He melts our hearts of stone to give us hearts of flesh (Ezek. 36:26), making us desire Him more than anything else. The more you delight yourself in Him, the more you realize the shallowness of man’s empty praise. Do not turn to others for what only God can give you. If you believe in Jesus, you are bought with His blood, sealed with the Holy Spirit for the day of redemption. No word from human lips can change or take that away. Seek your recognition in Him. Place your worth in Him. Find your refuge in Him. Yearn to regard His Word as true and trustworthy. Do not please people. Please God.
In Christ,
Cole