Forgiveness

“Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted his heel against me.”

Psalm 41:9

You may have had someone close to you betray you or hurt you. The Bible is not oblivious to life in a fallen world. It is honest with the sin within us, within other people, within society, and within the world. 

Here, David has been betrayed by a “close friend.” We do not know who this was, only that David once had sweet fellowship with him. We can probably assume this was someone who was close to David before he was king, yet due to the circumstances surrounding either Saul or Absalom, betrayed David for political position. David took this betrayal seriously; it wounded him and caused severe grief and anxiety in his life.

But notice how David expresses his pain: he brings it to the Lord in petition. What you find in the Psalms is the principle Paul pens in Romans 12:19: “never avenge yourself, but leave it to the wrath of God…” You may have serious wounds from others’ betrayal, infidelity, harshness, or disrespect towards you. You may wonder “how could they ever do that? I thought they loved me?” How do you deal with such painful wounds? Are you bitter in heart? Do you carry residual anger within you? Is it all you can think about?

These responses seem justifiable. You are hurt. You deserve vengeance and justice. Yet what does this bring in the end? A “root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble” (Heb 12:15). The weeds of unforgiveness and vengeance in your heart only spread to make the rest of your life miserable. 

When the pain of others’ actions is unbearable, we must remember something: our Lord has felt these things too. This verse from David is directly cited in John 13: Jesus just washed his disciples feet. He knows his hour has come. He was to stumble upon a brutal road to wear a crown of thorns and hang pierced on a cross. Yet what did his friends do in that most agonizing hour? Most fled the scene. One denied even knowing him to save his reputation. Another, one who shared bread with Jesus and whose feet had just been washed by him, betrayed him for a petty load of pennies. When all his friends were gone, Jesus was left to the crowd, who jeered and cheered: “Crucify! Crucify! Crucify!” 

Yet what did our Lord utter upon the cross as he poured out his life? Hear these gracious words: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Lk 23:34). Here, the Son of God, the only One who had the right to bring vengeance upon his adversaries, gave his life to forgive them—and you. 

Do not forget that you were one of those in the crowd. You were one of the disciples who fled. You have betrayed Jesus by your life and by your denial of him before others. We all were once sheep led astray. Yet even in this wrongdoing, Jesus has turned it into salvation. He has forgiven those who did not deserve it.

If Christ has forgiven you so great a debt, though it be toilsome and difficult, you too are to forgive those who have wounded you. Cry out to the Lord for help in this matter. Bring your complaint and approach his mercy seat. Do not be like that ungrateful servant, who, after being released from an insurmountable offense, turned around to condemn his servant for a lesser one. As Jesus said elsewhere: “Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful” (Lk 6:36) and “he who is forgiven little, loves little” (Lk 7:47). Consider how the Lord has been so merciful and forgiving of you, and let that love drive you day by day to forgive even the worst of hurts others place on you. They may not “deserve” it, but, for the sake of your soul, do not allow that wound to envelop and poison the rest of your life.